Hello, fellow Leapers! Today, I’m going to take you on a “magic carpet ride” (à la Steppenwolf) and give you a peek into some funny and interesting traditions and practices of other cultures.

 

-Did you know that in Albania and Bulgaria, people nod their heads up and down to mean “No” and shake their heads back and forth to mean “Yes”?

 

-There’s a culture in Brazil, the Pirahã tribe, that lives only in the present. Their language utilizes absolutely no past tense verbs and no subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying, ”When I have finished eating, I would like to speak with you,” a Pirahã would say, “I finish eating, I speak with you.” The Pirahã people also have no words to refer to numbers or colors. Linguist Daniel Everett explains the core of Pirahã culture with a simple formula: “Live here and now.” In their culture, the only thing of importance that is worth communicating to others is what is being experienced at that very moment. “All experience is anchored in the present,” says Everett.* 

 

-In Asian cultures, white is the color of mourning. Red, rather than white, is the color traditionally worn by brides. In addition, sending white flowers to a loved one for any occasion other than a funeral is considered very offensive because white flowers are associated with death and mourning.  

 

-In many cultures, objects are considered to have a certain inherent life or energy. Some objects are “hot”; some are “cold.” Some are considered “clean”; some are considered “dirty” or “unclean.” I recently read an example in which a Canadian woman (married to an Indian man) was cleaning her house and placed a pair of shoes neatly atop a pile of her husband’s books. When he returned home from work, he was horrified and immediately removed the shoes. He explained to his wife that in India, books were considered “clean” and “sacred” because of the wisdom they contained. Shoes, on the other hand, were considered to be some of dirtiest objects in the Indian culture. Under no circumstances would an Indian person have put the shoes on top of the books.

 

Wow! Who knew? I do understand that, though, because books are considered sacred in our home, too.

 

I learned a pretty funny cultural lesson myself when I went to Romania in November of 2001. I had bought clothes, accessories, bath products, and other gifts to give to Catalin’s family. One of the gifts I had bought was a bottle of Curve perfume by Liz Claiborne, which was popular at the time. When I gave it to Andreea (now my sister-in-law), you would have thought it were a grenade from the way everyone stared at it. 

 

Years later, my husband finally told me that “Curve” in Romanian means, well, let’s just say, “women of the night.”

 

Whoops!    

 

Anyone else out there have some “cultural funnies,” mishaps, or interesting social or cultural taboos that you want to share? Please post a comment here! Thank you.

 

*For more info, see Spiegel Online, “Living Without Numbers or Time,” by Rafaela von Bredow, available at this link: spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,414291,00.html

Happy November! I’m pleased to announce the winners of the super-awesome October book drawing! My husband kindly did the honors of selecting the names from the bowls last night.

 

The winner of the book Cold Mountain is TINA H. of Fort Worth!!!!

The winner of the book Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is COLLEEN S. of Frisco!  

And the winner of the book Why Johnny Can’t Brand is T.J. W., also of Fort Worth!!!

 

Congratulations, friends! You will be receiving your books in the mail very soon! And now is the time to begin entering the drawing for November’s books, which are:

 

Beloved
The Nanny Diaries
The One-Year Mini for Busy Women (autographed)
What’s the Big Deal about Jesus? (autographed) 

Please just post a comment here or e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com if you are interested in winning one of November’s books! Thank you.

Hello! The Writer’s Digest Annual Poetry Contest is accepting entries from now until December 20th. It’s an excellent venue for you to enter your work! You can enter online or via snail mail. Check out the guidelines at the following link:

writersdigest.com/contests/?goto=closead

Enjoy! 

My friend Tammy Labuda is an extremely talented professional photographer. She has an extraordinary gift for seeing the spark of soul and personality in a person and really bringing it out. Her photos of children, especially, are AMAZING! And her photography fees are extremely reasonable, to boot. Take just a moment to check out some of her photos on her NEW website at tammylabudaphotography.com.

 

Tammy also is giving away a FREE VALENTINE’S DAY PHOTO SHOOT if you e-mail her at labuda@sbcglobal.net. She takes fantastic family photos, photos of individuals, children’s portraits, author photos, realtor photos, and much more. For more information and pricing for Tammy’s photography services, please give her a call at (214) 547-9820. Thank you and blessings!

Did you make a New Year’s resolution to READ MORE IN 2008? If so, this is your lucky day – or your BLESSED day, as I prefer to say. The end of my January FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY is just around the bend! The drawing will be held on Jan. 31. Please let me know which book you want to win, and ask a friend to enter, too! These free books are perfect for excellent, stimulating winter reading – and they also make great gifts for friends and family. Scroll down to read the list of giveaway titles.

 

Also, February is the month for my FANTASTIC LEAP OF FAITH FICTION FEST. You could win one of FIFTEEN bestselling fiction titles (mostly hardcovers). These are valuable books, folks! So don’t miss out – enter today! 

In his extraordinary book What’s So Amazing About Grace?, author Philip Yancey shares the following story:

“During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods appearing in human form. Resurrection? Again, other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went on for some time until C. S. Lewis wandered into the room. ‘What’s the rumpus about?’ he asked, and heard in reply that his colleagues were discussing Christianity’s unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded, ‘Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.’”

Ah, C.S. Lewis! His wisdom amazes me. GRACE always wins out, doesn’t it? We impact people by showing them love and grace. Scripture says that it’s KINDNESS that leads people to repentance, and it’s GRACE that characterizes us as people who love God and love others with all our hearts. How are you doing in the grace-giving department today?

Hook, grab & pull – that’s how we reel in our readers and keep them engaged in our stories. Of course, like many things in life, doing this sounds easier than it actually is! The August 2007 issue of Writer’s Digest magazine contains an excellent article on this topic by Les Edgerton. He writes:

 

“The opening of your story carries an awesome responsibility. Consider this: The goals of your opening scene are:

 

     1. To successfully introduce the story-worthy problem.

     2. To hook the readers.

     3. To establish the rules of the story.

     4. To forecast the ending of the story.

 

If your opening fails to accomplish any one of these elements, then guess what – your opening will fail.”

 

Wow! If you sit there and ponder these four points for a moment, you will realize just how much skill is required to write a compelling story opening. These four points were especially enlightening to me because I’ve just begun plotting out two novels. I went back and read the opening lines of several of my favorite novels to see how each author accomplishes these four objectives in his or her writing. Try it; it’s fascinating!

 

Questions? Comments? Tips for other fiction writers? If so, please post them here. Thank you!

I’m working on a few book editing projects and thought that I’d share some editing tips for all of you authors out there. If you REALLY want to sharpen your writing, try incorporating the following elements: 

       

 

Focus on using more strong verbs and eliminating the use of “is,” “are,” “be,” etc. This is vital to the “hook” and readability (as well as the sales!) of your book. People want to read vivid, exciting action words. They want to be entertained and to have lots of stories/description in a book. Get a thesaurus, read through your manuscript, and replace every boring verb with a powerful one. 
 

 

Eliminate the construction of “There are/there is” as the subject and verb of a sentence. Ask yourself what the REAL subject should be. There’s always a way to fix this. :) Or, I should say, you can always find a way to fix this. :)    

 
 
 

Remember to add lots of sensory/emotion words to draw in your audience. Ask yourself: What did it look like? What did it sound like? What did it taste like? What did it smell like? What did it feel like? What color was it? How did the person feel? Most book buyers are women, so work hard to make that emotional connection in every paragraph. 
      
 
 

Use more stories/illustrations if possible - at least one per page. People like to read about other people. 
      
 
 

Cut down on the number of endnotes. Most publishers are leaning toward including as much info in the text as possible to make it more reader-friendly. (Most of your readers won’t take the time to turn to the back of the book to look at the endnotes, anyway.) Also, include all Bible references in the text itself rather than using footnotes or endnotes for the Scripture references. 
      

 

 

       I promise that integrating these elements into your writing will make your editors fantastically happy!  
 

 

 

 

Antoine de Saint-Exupery wrote, “It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative action, that man finds his supreme joys.” Mobilizing our giftedness and reaching a state of flow involves a unique combination of adventure, victory, and creative action.
The definitions of flow and joy are closely related. The authors of The Power of Flow write, “Flow is the natural, effortless unfolding of our lives in a way that moves us toward wholeness and harmony. When we are in flow, occurrences line up, events fall into place, and obstacles melt away. Rather than life being a meaningless struggle, it is permeated with a deep sense of purposefulness and order. Flow has a tremendous power to transform our lives, for it is dynamic and moves us unerringly toward joy and aliveness.
            Most of us have had experiences of being in flow. In those times, we know we’re in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. We feel both exhilarated and at peace, somehow connected to something larger and greater than ourselves. Life is rich with meaning, magic, and purpose. We feel vital, alive, joyful. But for most of us, it doesn’t happen often enough or for long enough. We feel glimmerings of flow, and then they fade away.”
            Now, what is joy? I’ve always thought of joy as a more “watered down” or “spiritualized” version of happiness, so I was surprised to find that joy is actually a feeling of greater intensity than mere happiness itself. One source defines joy as “intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness; the expression or manifestation of such feeling.”
What makes people experience this type of joy? I believe that having a fulfilling relationship with God plays a vital role. Knowing and loving the Lord offers us a kind of deep joy that transcends circumstances. It goes hand-in-hand with what the Bible calls “the peace that passes all understanding.”
The gifted composer Richard Wagner wrote, “Joy is not in things; it is in us.”
Dr. Dan Baker lists the following ten qualities of happy people. They: 
 
1.      Believe in themselves.
2.      Know their true North. (In our case, that’s God!)
3.      Take personal responsibility.
4.      Have courage.
5.      Are altruistic.
6.      Embrace optimism.
7.      Are proactive.
8.      Appreciate life.
9.      Are wise and share their wisdom.
10.  Persevere.
 
Joy is not contingent on “what happens to you”; you can choose to be a happy, positive person. When you do, your art, as well as your spiritual life, will benefit. 

“You don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it, too.”
– Anne Lamott
 
I love Anne Lamott’s quote, especially in light of our call to always be ready to provide a reason for the incredible hope that we have in Jesus Christ. Comments? Please post them below.
 

It’s here! Generation Hex has officially launched. We are asking friends and family to buy the book on FRIDAY, 8/08/08 – the day of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies.  

 

The book is available for purchase on Amazon.com and christianbook.com. I believe christianbook.com has the best value, for only $7.99 plus shipping. You can also stop by and pick up a copy or two from your local bookstore! 

 

You may also order an AUTOGRAPHED copy from yours truly for $9, which includes the price of shipping! Please consider ordering a few personalized copies for family, friends, or parents who may need to know more about Wicca and the influence of witchcraft in our culture. And if you know anyone involved in Wicca, by all means, please give them this book! We hope it will change their lives.

 

To order an autographed copy of Generation Hex, simply e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com and send me your address, and I’ll ship the books out to you right away. Thanks so much! 

 

WIN A FREE STARBUCKS GIFT CARD! If you would be willing to write and post a review of Generation Hex on a website like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or another site, you may enter our drawing for a free Starbucks gift card. Just let us know when you’ve posted your review! Thank you!    

 

A friend just recommended that I check out this article, written by an American man who married a woman from Japan. He shares some excellent insights about intercultural marriage as well as some important warnings and advice for those contemplating intercultural marriage. Here is the link to the site: larabell.org/cross.html

Thanks for the recommendation, J.! 

Hello, friends! Here are some interesting myths and truths about Wicca to keep you informed during WICCA AWARENESS MONTH! And if you have not yet snapped up your personal copy of the new book Generation Hex, please do so now on amazon.com. We hope you will take this opportunity to become informed about this influential cultural and spiritual trend!

 
Generation Hex: Uncovering the Truth about Wicca
Myth #1: You can tell a person is a Wiccan just by looking at him or her.
Truth: Jami Shoemaker of Llewellyn Publishers said, “The average witch is a beautiful twenty-five year old.” Wiccans do not necessarily dress “Goth,” nor do they ride on broomsticks!
Myth #2: Wiccans are Satan worshippers who sacrifice living beings.  
Truth: Wiccans do not worship Satan directly. They consider Satan part of the Christian tradition; most don’t even believe that he exists. They do not perform human or animal sacrifices.
Myth #3: Wiccans are trying to convert others to their religion.
Truth: Wiccans read books on Christianity and other religions. However, they typically do not try to convert others to their faith.
Myth #4: Wiccans don’t follow any rules. 
Truth: Wiccans follow the Wiccan Rede, which states, “’An it harm none, do as ye will” (translation: “As long as it doesn’t harm anyone, do whatever you want”). They also follow the Rule of Three, which states that the consequences of a person’s actions, whether positive or negative, will return to that person threefold.
Myth #5: Wicca and Christianity are compatible.  
Truth: Scripture clearly states that Christians are not to participate in any form of witchcraft. This includes séances, casting spells, palm reading or fortune telling, using Tarot cards, communicating with spirits, playing with Ouija boards, or playing occult-related video games.   
Myth #6: Arguing with a Wiccan about God or the Bible is the best way to lead that person to Christ.
Truth: Wiccans enjoy engaging in honest, open dialogue about their faith. If you show genuine interest in them, most will be glad to discuss their beliefs and experiences with you. When you have the opportunity, share your positive personal testimony about how God has transformed your life through Christ.
 
 
BIO: Marla Alupoaicei (ThM, Dallas Theological Seminary, 2002), is an author and speaker as well as a writer for East-West Ministries. She and Dillon Burroughs (ThM, 2002), recently released the book Generation Hex: Understanding the Subtle Dangers of Wicca with Harvest House Publishers. Marla and her husband, Catalin, operate a ministry called Leap of Faith for intercultural couples. For more information, please visit Marla’s website at marriageleap.com. Marla also mentors and encourages writers and authors at her author site, marlawrites.com.

       Wow! This Halloween, stores are decked out like never before. Have you noticed that Halloween is now a SEASON, not just a DAY like it used to be?
       This year, for the first time, I saw that some stores have “Countdown to Halloween” calendars that look just like Christmas advent calendars. Also, today at Target, I decided to roam through the Halloween aisles to try to find a candy dish that wasn’t too creepy looking. I started down one aisle and saw some of the scariest display stuff ever. An array of gargoyles and freaky skulls stared me down. I also saw for sale a “coffin sofa cover” that you can put on your couch to make it look like a coffin. And then, next to one of the gargoyles, was…
       A SATAN HEAD. 
       Yes, a Satan head that would have given me nightmares as a child. It looked like the picture of Satan that was in the children’s Bible that my mom used to read to us. It had horns and lightbulbs in the eyes that lit up red.
       I felt torn. On the one hand, I didn’t want to even look at it. I felt sick inside. Then I thought, I should buy it and get rid of it so no one else has to see it. But of course, I couldn’t justify purchasing such a hideous item. Then I thought, I really should write a letter to Target and tell the management that I’m disappointed that they would carry such a thing.
       All this to say, folks, that if you are still in the dark about the fact that witchcraft and darkness are taking over our culture, please WAKE UP!!!!!! 
       Our book Generation Hex shares the truth about our culture’s spiritual trend toward witchcraft. Most Wiccans and witches are NOT Satan worshipers in a literal sense, but he still is leading many away from God’s truth. In Generation Hex, we interacted with Wiccans and pagans in a way that creates open dialogue and seeks to build bridges of understanding from Christians to those of pagans faiths. I hope each of you reading this post will choose to read the book and be informed about the influence of Wicca and witchcraft in our culture, especially among young people.  
       The Bible says that Satan masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). As Christians, we need to be able to recognize and counteract his evil and destructive work in the world.  
       Blessings-
       Marla
 

Hi! For those of you who have taken that exciting “leap of faith” into intercultural marriage, here is a list of some great movies that will encourage and enlighten you in your relationship. I have included information on almost 40 intercultural movies in my NEW BOOK, which will be released by Moody Publishers in June! The book is called Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship. Please help spread the word!

Here are some movies for you to check out. Some of them have subtle intercultural elements that you may not have considered!

Angela’s Ashes
Anna and the King
Awakenings
Bend It like Beckham
Chariots of Fire
Dances with Wolves
The Doctor
Empire of the Sun
The English Patient
Fools Rush In
Freedom Writers
Hotel Rwanda
The Joy Luck Club
The Kite Runner
Life is Beautiful
Lost in Translation
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
New in Town
The New World
Not Without My Daughter
One True Thing
Out of Africa
Remember the Titans
Save the Last Dance
Schindler’s List
School Ties
Seven Years in Tibet 
Shall We Dance?
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Spanglish
Stand and Deliver
Take the Lead
Witness

If you know of others, please e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com and let me know! Thanks!

Hi! On Friday, Aug. 21, I had a live interview with host Chris Fabry on the subject of intercultural marriage and relationships! You may listen to the interview simply by following this link, scrolling down until you see the podcast from August 21, and then clicking on “Listen.” moodyradio.org/brd_programarchive.aspx?id=31078

Thanks for your support! Enjoy!

Keith Bardwell, a justice of the peace in Louisiana, refuses to issue marriage licenses to interracial couples. He says, ”It is my experience that most interracial marriages do not last long… I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way.”

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them. 

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer, and I won’t help put them through it.”

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said. “I try to treat everyone equally.” 

American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana attorney Katie Schwartzmann said, “It is really astonishing and disappointing to see this come up in 2009.” She said the Supreme Court ruled in 1967 “that the government cannot tell people who they can and cannot marry.”

The ACLU sent a letter to the Louisiana Judiciary Committee, which oversees the state justices of the peace, asking them to investigate Bardwell and recommending “the most severe sanctions available, because such blatant bigotry poses a substantial threat of serious harm to the administration of justice.”

To read the full Associated Press story, please see news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091016/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff.

Comments? Thoughts?

Here are some of the most important questions to ask before entering an intercultural marriage:

1) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you attend church? Do you read the Bible or other religious books? How involved are you in spiritual activities?

2) What types of food and drink do you enjoy? At what times do you typically eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? How often do you go out to eat? Do you like to cook?

3) Which holidays do you celebrate? What traditions and foods does your family enjoy on these holidays?

4) Are you an early bird or a night owl? How does this affect your daily schedule? What does your “perfect day” look like?

5) Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, a realist, or something else? When you face a difficult situation, what tends to be your first response?

6) How do you deal with interpersonal conflict? Do you tend to fight or take flight? How did your family of origin handle conflict?

7) What type of work do you do? What type of work do you expect to do after marriage?

8) Do you plan to attend graduate school or seminary, get additional work training, or take other educational courses after marriage?

9) What is your current financial situation? How much debt do you have?

10) Do you want to have children? If so, how many, and when? What is your perspective on marital intimacy? Do you believe in using birth control?  

11) How would you describe your relationship with your parents, siblings, and other family members? What was your parents’ marriage like?

If you’re in an intercultural marriage (or considering one) and you are looking for helpful resources on the topic, check these out:
Additional Resources for Intercultural Couples

Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls, 3rd edition, by Dugan Romano
Mixed Matches by Joel Crohn
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
Before You Say I Do by H. Norman Wright
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott
How to Save Your Marriage Alone by Ed Wheat
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship by Marla Alupoaicei
 

I was inspired and encouraged by this recommendation for my developmental writing and editing services from author Dave Sterrett. I edited two books for him, both of which were published and one of which has become a Christian bestseller! Congratulations, Dave!

“Marla Alupoaicei is one of the best writers and editors in the Christian market today. Very few Christian editors and writers have the ability to meticulously edit while adding creative suggestions with theological soundness. Marla, on the other hand, provides all three: accurate grammar, innovative ideas on your manuscript, and biblical accuracy. I highly recommend her writing and editing services!”

- Dave Sterrett, popular speaker and author of “O” God: A Dialogue on Truth and Oprah’s Spirituality and Why Trust Jesus?  Website: davesterrett.com

 

Thanks so much, Dave! For all of you writers out there seeking editing help or publication, please contact me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com for more info on my writing and editing services. I look forward to the privilege of working with you to develop your manuscript, improve your platform and help your publishing dreams come true!

Writing allows us the opportunity and privilege to record the minute details of our lives, to explore and redeem tragedy as well as reflect glory, and to express what we love, who we are and why our experiences are important. I love this quote by Natalie Goldberg:
 
“Our lives are at once ordinary and mythical. We live and die, age beautifully or full of wrinkles… At the same instant we have these magnificent hearts that pump through all sorrow and all winters we are alive on the earth. We are important and our lives are important, magnificent really, and their details are worthy to be recorded. This is how writers must think, this is how we must sit down with pen in hand. We were here; we are human beings; this is how we lived. Let it be known, the earth passed before us. Our details are important.”
Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones, p. 43
 
 

Sex Trafficking: Don’t Buy It!

Did you realize that The Super Bowl is a primary target for sex traffickers? That’s true especially this year, when the Super Bowl will be held in Dallas, relatively close to the U.S./Mexico border. Texas is, sadly, #1 in the U.S. for the number of kidnapped and sex trafficked children.

How Can You Help Combat the Problem of Sex Trafficking?

Dillon Burroughs has an awesome post on Beliefnet about how all of us can help combat this problem of social justice. Check it out at blog.beliefnet.com/activistfaith/2011/01/sex-dont-buy-it.html.   

Excellent Communication Tips

Those of you in intercultural marriages know that effective communication, love and respect are crucial elements to a successful marriage partnership. Chuck Martin, our pastor at First Baptist Church of Frisco, has been preaching a fantastic series called Faith @ Home in which he gives parents excellent tips on improving their relationships with each other and with their children. This past Sunday, each of us received a copy of “The 21 Rules of This House” by Gregg Harris. These guidelines are so powerful that I wanted to share them with everyone! Here they are:

The 21 Rules of This House

1. We obey God.

2. We love, honor and pray for one another.

3. We tell the truth.

4. We consider one another’s interests ahead of our own.

5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.

6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.

7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.  

8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.

9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.

10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.

11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.

12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.

13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.

14. We do not create unneccesary work for others.

15. When we open something, we close it.

16. When we take something out, we put it away.

17. When we turn something on, we turn it off.

18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.

19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.

20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.

21. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept the discipline and instruction of the Lord.   

 

The Doctor is In!

Do You Need a Professional Writer or Editor for Your Book? 

Exciting News: my editing/book doctoring business has really taken off over the past few years. Now I am typically balancing a couple of book editing or development projects at a given time (plus writing and marketing my own books)! I just received a new contract from a ministry for a book project that I am very excited about. Each relationship that I am able to build enriches my life and teaches me so much, and every project provides its own fun and inspiring elements as well as its own challenges. I really enjoy this ministry. If you have a project and are looking for an editor/developmental writer to help you get it published, definitely let me know! You can e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com. Thanks! 

Search Engine Optimization Writing

I’m thrilled at how God is expanding my writing and my ministry horizons this year. I just started doing SEO writing for a company called My Web Writers. We help companies increase their business opportunities, profits, client base and Web exposure through search engine optimization. It’s an exciting and cool thing to learn to do. Check it out at mywebwriters.com.

Blogging on bible.org 

I’ve also been blogging on bible.org for the past couple of years. Their Tapestry site for women has some fantastic, thought-provoking articles on cutting-edge topics related to the Christian life, theology, wife-hood (just coined that one!) and motherhood. It’s an excellent resource. View it at blogs.bible.org/tapestry. Let me know what you think!

 ”You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere…
I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly…” –“Fireflies” by Owl City

After losing his beloved son in a mountaineering accident, author Nicholas Wolterstorff wrote, “There’s a hole in the world now… A center, like no other, of memory and hope and knowledge and affection which once inhabited this earth is now gone. Only a gap remains. A perspective in this world unique in this world which once moved about in this world has been rubbed out… There’s nobody who saw just what he saw, knows what he knew, remembers what he remembered, loves what he loved… Questions I have can never now get answers. The world is emptier.” –Lament for a Son
 
I understand what it means to feel like there’s a hole in the world. On June 10, 2010, my grandmother, Guyneth Walker, went to be with the Lord. But her gentle ways and loving spirit will live on in the hearts of all who knew her. Her birthday is December 2. She would have been 94 this year.
Grandma lived in harmony with people and nature like no one I’ve ever known. She accepted the fact that, on the farm, sometimes Mother Nature cooperated with what people wanted and needed, and sometimes it didn’t. She learned dependence on the land without despairing when hail came or the weather was too hot or too cold, too dry or too wet. As a child, I walked with her through her huge garden as she reached down to touch the delicate faces of blue bachelor buttons. She selected a lovely purple hollyhock bloom and bud and fastened them together to make me a hollyhock doll. Then we walked down a row of tomatoes. Suddenly, Grandma snatched a huge green tomato worm, flung it to the ground and stomped on it. Then she calmly continued down the row to look at the green beans and potatoes as if nothing had ever happened.
Grandma’s home was simple, yet it was my favorite place to be in all the world. The author of one of my favorite books, A Life that Says Welcome, says this: “The husband is the head of the home, but the wife is the heart of the home.” Grandma reflected the truth of this statement as her home reflected her warm nature and her loving, sacrificial spirit. Her husband, Jesse Walker (my grandfather) passed away many years ago, while my mom was in college. Grandma never remarried. So she really had to become both the head and the heart of her home.  
Grandma remembered people and events and enjoyed recounting them to us. And she wrote down everything. When we sorted through her possessions, we found boxes full of carefully preserved keepsakes and clothing, including the gorgeous dresses and other items of clothing that she had made.
What a legacy she left for us with her writing, as toward the end of her life she tended to forget the details of recent events. But amazingly, she could clearly recall minute details of events that had happened when she was young. She loved talking with her sister Ruth about events that had occurred during her childhood.  
After her death, my uncles and my mother began sorting through her belongings. Every box revealed carefully preserved and documented memories, from pristine 1920s postcards bearing antiquated greetings like “Happy Christmastide” to her mother’s silk wedding dress with its exquisite embroidery. Grandma had pinned hand-written notes to almost every item explaining who had made it, where it had come from, who had given it to her as a gift, special occasions when she had worn it, and more.
Now, our history has become HER STORY. I realize that just as one person’s life can dramatically influence the growth, development and love of a family, that person also changes the landscape of a town and changes the world in the process. Grandma’s testimony is a simple and quiet life, well-lived. She loved well. My aunt Jana noted that one of the things she appreciated most about my grandma is that she had a contented spirit?truly a rare gift in this day and age.
Grief teaches us about life, and about ourselves, and about others, and about God. It reveals to us the astonishing capacity that we have for love. It shows us how we are limited and flawed, cloaked in humanity. Yet it also reveals our remarkable capacity to love beyond ourselves, to love in a way that astonishes and transforms us and everyone around us, to love in a way that reveals that we are made in God’s image because that love is beyond the limits of our human selves. It’s incandescent, like the fields by Grandma’s house glowing with thousands of lightning bugs on a summer evening.
My husband flew in from Dallas on the night before Grandma’s funeral. He described his astonishment at the most beautiful sunset he’d ever seen, with bright colors splashed against the sky juxtaposed with  a bank of dark rain clouds against the horizon. He said that as they prepared to land, the sun went down and he saw miles and miles of fields lit up by millions of fireflies, as though the entire sleeping landscape was enveloped in a soft blanket of light.
Grandma’s home was modest, her furnishings simple, and her “estate” was not grandiose by any means. She had some beautiful things, most of which were beautiful to us because of the decades of memories that they brought back. And the day after she had passed away, as we began looking through her belongings with tears and shared memories, I realized that even if she had owned lavish possessions or had millions of dollars to leave each of us as an inheritance, we gladly would have given it all back just to spend one more minute with her.
Thanks, Grandma. May your legacy live on through each of us.

Here is a helpful excerpt from my book that appears on the DTS website. It includes a variety of extremely useful questions for you and your intercultural fiance or spouse to ask each other. Check it out at dts.edu/publications/read/excerpt-from-your-intercultural-marriage-marla-deshong-alupoaicei/.

 

Thank you!

I recently heard Brenna Stull, otherwise known as “Coach Mom” and the mother of five kids, speak at a MOPS meeting. I was so encouraged by the spiritual and practical principles that she shared at the meeting that I went home and immediately ordered her book Coach Mom: 7 Strategies for Organizing Your Family into An All-Star Team. It’s from New Hope Publishers. (By the way, God has granted me the privilege of meeting a couple of the employees of New Hope at conferences, and they are fantastic!)

Brenna talks about how we can learn to work smarter, not harder, and how to organize our priorities, our homes and our families in order to better support God’s call and His purposes for our lives. I was challenged and encouraged by what she shared. In chapter 9, she notes that many of our decisions are based on fear rather than faith. For example, we don’t want our children to fall behind others athletically, so we overextend ourselves in order to put them into 2 or 3 sports even though that stresses us out. Instead, we should ask ourselves these questions before committing to any activity:

1. Does what I’m doing support my purpose?

2. Does this even warrant my time and energy?

I’m now reading the “Clutter Busting” section, and I am really loving that. Now, on to bust my clutter… But that’s definitely easier said than done with a 16-month-old son and a two-month-old daughter. Can anyone relate? 

 

“The Link Between” is one of the best websites I’ve seen on the topic of intercultural marriage. Definitely check it out at thelinkbetween.wordpress.com/.

I also love the Marriage Missions website. It contains lots of fantastic articles for intercultural couples. Check out this one: marriagemissions.com/intercultural-marriages-assumptionsmy-way-the-right-way/

Also check out this intriguing site and interview: matadornetwork.com/abroad/on-blogs-of-the-world-intercultural-marriage-and-travel-writing-an-interview-with-liz-chatburn-of-pocket-cultures/

I’ve been contacted recently by several media folks requesting statistics, information and personal stories related to intercultural marriage. How exciting! Looks like people are catching on to the crucial need for resources on this topic. Let me know if I can be of help to you by providing articles, resources, recommendations or advice on this topic. You can also glean lots from my book, titled Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship from Moody Publishers. It’s available on Amazon and at bookstores. Thanks!  

Hello! Here’s a great article on the do’s and don’ts of blogging from Michael Hyatt, who operates an “Intentional Leadership” blog. Since most of us have blogs, I thought I’d share it with my readers. Thanks!

michaelhyatt.com/do-you-make-these-10-mistakes-when-you-blog.html

 

I recently saw a quote that stopped me in my tracks. It said, “Choose your love; then love your choice.”

God spoke to my heart through that quotation, reminding me that love is a choice. Isn’t it sad that we fall in love and believe that our significant other is pretty much perfect in every way, and then as time passes, we tend to dwell on the things about him or her that we don’t like?

I’m also impressed by the double entendre in this quote. Not only are we called to love our choice (as in the PERSON that we chose), but we are also called to love our choice (as in the fact that WE chose that person and it’s up to us to live with the consequences). Every day, we must make it a point to focus on our spouse’s best qualities and help him or her to become who he/she is meant to be in Christ.

Yesterday I was thinking that it would be cool to list 31 things I love about my husband, in celebration of Halloween. So here goes:

1) I know he loves me.

2) He buys me roses.

3) He loves the Lord.

4) He’s very intelligent.

5) He is well spoken and gifted with languages.

6) He has adapted extremely well to life in America.

7) He understands my near-addiction to McDonald’s Coke. :)

8) He is a fantastic dad.

9) He is not a violent person (both of us have been impacted by domestic violence, so this means a lot to me).

10) He loves good food.

11) He is amazing to travel with and can decode any type of map.

12) He works very hard at his job and is dependable.

13) He likes to spend lots of time with his family.

14) He is a good friend.

15) He is sensitive and caring.

16) He loves music.

17) He likes to exercise (sometimes, anyway!)

18) He loves to read and discuss books with me.

19) He’s hot (why did I not mention that before?????)

20) He can carry on an interesting and intelligent conversation on any topic – so useful at parties.

21) He doesn’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything like that.

22) He cares about my safety and that of the children.

23) He does tons of research before buying anything to be sure we get the best value.

24) He is tall, dark and handsome.

25) He enjoys going to church and connecting with friends.

26) He makes sacrifices for me and the kids.

27) He left his home country and family in order to marry me and move to the States!

28) He is a true international, a citizen of the world.

29) He is very devoted to our marriage.

30) He has a gentle spirit.

31) He has compassion for people and roots for the underdog. That will be helpful when the Rangers play the Giants tonight!